Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The post about a conversation with my dad, celebrating a life and weight loss "coaching"...

  • Meanwhile, yesterday on Instagram...
  • It's #coffeetime and I'm fecken cold. Hamilton didn't get hit so hard by that storm last night like the rest of southern Ontario. Just heavy rain and wind. And it brought in a cold front. Not sure what's happening today. I'll need to entertain the boy somehow. I'm gonna do the Wentworth stairs and get a long bike ride in. I only got HIIT in yesterday. 
  • My dad left with my brother last night. I'm back out to his place on Thursday for a doctor's appointment. Yesterday I told my dad about my arm lift. And I started the conversation all wrong. I said I'm having surgery in September which caused instant panic on his face. Julien was there and said, "don't worry Poppy. She's just having her arms cut off". Which didn't help. But after explaining the situation to my dad he relaxed. And I assured him that it was going to be quick and easy. In and out the same day. 
  • I was gonna leave the outer thigh liposuction out of it but Julien says, "Don't forget to tell him about the fat sucking on your legs mommy". He understood about the arms but didn't like hearing about the liposuction. I know my outer thighs are mostly only noticeable and bothersome to me, but I figure why not get rid of something that bothers me if I can. My dad said I'm beautiful just as I am and I don't need anything done. Sweet man. And of course he told me I exercise too much and should eat more than veggies and meat:-) Typical dad...

  • I've shown this photo before. This is my favorite picture of me and my mom. She passed away less than a year after my wedding. My mom planned my entire day. I gave her full artistic license. She even chose the style of and made my wedding gown. She was losing her battle with cancer at this time. There was way more important stuff going through my head than what kind of flowers I should choose. Today she would have been 84 years old. I remember as her last birthday approached, I prayed she wouldn't die on the day we celebrate her life. My prayer was answered and she passed 4 days later. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Although we are not blood related, she always was and always will be the most influential woman in my life❤ #adopted...

  • Got my activity in today. This morning I ran to the Wentworth stairs, then walked up and down them them twice (1050 steps), and then ran home. I came in just long enough to eat a couple spoonfuls of nut butter and an orange then headed back out again on my bike. I did my long ride up the escarpment. The wind was strong which made riding downhill work. My legs feel wobbly and I like it. 
  • Wanna know what grinds me? People who have lost weight (commendable) then market themselves as being a "weight loss coach". In my opinion, unless you have credentials in nutrition and personal training, you should not be "coaching" anyone. Losing weight does not make you a weight loss expert. What worked for me may not work for you. I've no problem sharing how I lost weight and showing my meals and activity, but I'm not qualified to advise anyone on lifestyle. I can only share what finally worked for me after years and years of yo-yo dieting and offer encouragement and new ideas. 
  • I'll only take my coaching from my nutritionist and personal trainer because they're actually qualified to build programs geared towards me and my goals. Being coached by someone who will never lay eyes on you and will give the same plan to everyone regardless of their health needs and fitness goals is irresponsible and nothing but a cash grab. Because you know, even though they all want to help because they've been there, weight loss coaching doesn't come for free. I've gotta stop "exploring" Instagram. It pisses me off way too much...#rantover

  • It's #winetime and I'm finally clean. But I felt so unmotivated to groom beyond the essentials. I was gonna put off shaving for another day but I have training first thing in the morning and I don't need to give the regulars something else to rib me about. Being called the "light lifter with hairy legs" could truly damage my psyche. So instead I decided not to brush my hair and let it air dry #rebel. A cold front came in for a hot second this morning and now it's warm again. Julien had a friend come over and I'm making them pizza for dinner. I get bunless burgers and grilled veggies...

  • Here is today's final food countdown. I will once again share everything that went into my mouth:
  1. 2x coffee with cream
  2. Banana - pre workout
  3. Nut butter and an orange - mid workout
  4. 4x hardboiled eggs and summer squash with tomato and onion (see bottom left and bottom middle pic) - post workout
  5. Mixed nuts
  6. Red wine
  7. Bunless burgers with grilled veggies
  8. Lots and lots of water
  • I got the summer squash from my cousin's farm. You cook it just like a zucchini. I just sautéed it with olive oil, tomato, onion and salt and pepper.
  • The grilled veggies were red onion, mushroom, eggplant, zucchini and garlic drizzled with olive oil and BBQ'D in a foil pouch. When they're done I toss them with salt, pepper and balsamic vinegar.
  • My bunless burgers are made with a few pounds of extra lean ground beef and I add 1 egg, 1/4 cup of coconut flour, onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper and Italian seasoning. Mix it thoroughly by hand and form into patties. I've lots of left overs which means I have protein on the ready for after the gym tomorrow.
  • Not counting the liquids, I ate 5x today. So that's a good thing. Eating 5 - 6 times per day is my personal goal as per my nutritionist and trainer's advice...

Monday, August 3, 2015

The post about Sunday Mass, accessorizing and a BBQ with my family..

  • This happened on Instagram yesterday...
  • It's #coffeetime, suck it in edition. Beans are not my friend. Maybe I over did it with the bean salad yesterday. I should really take it slow when reintroducing old foods again. I think it was the kidney beans. It's been a while since I've had them. Other than the bloat I'm feeling fine. Gotta get some serious fitness in this morning. My dad's here so I gotta run and bike and get him to mass later this morning. Going to church with my dad is our thing and something I do with him when he's visiting. I went every Sunday as a child and a teen. My dad is a devout Catholic and goes to daily mass. Although I could just drop him off and pick him up again, it makes him happy when I attend with him. So I gotta get a move on. It'll take me 2 hours to get my run and ride in...

  • Busy day so far. I ran, did HIIT on my bike up the escarpment, made my dad breakfast, attended mass with him, got some groceries at Walmart, went to the liquor store, marinated my meat for my BBQ later with my brother and now I'm gonna put up my blog from what I did yesterday. Is it #winetime yet? Nope...

  • I'm onto my fourth costume change today. First I wore jammies, then running gear, then church clothes, then shorts. I loved going to church today. Me and my dad went to St. Patrick's for mass. It was my former parish before we moved last summer. Such a beautiful church. And I actually got choked up during the procession at the beginning of mass because the church bells rang to the song we were singing. So beautiful. And there was a woman who sang Hallelujah and I swear to God she sounded like an opera singer. I wanted to clap when she was done. 
  • This is a hard time for my dad. For all of us. My mom's birthday is tomorrow and the date of her death is Friday. He held my hand for most of mass which made my heart hurt. After mass we went to Walmart for dinner stuff, then the LCBO. The elderly have no filter. While we're walking through the LCBO my dad yells, "Leigh Anne, everyone's looking at your legs". LMAO! Thanks dad. Although I'm frugal with clothes I love my accessories. And I pay more for my jewels and clutches than my clothes. But I always still get stuff on sale. I'm patient and I can wait till prices drop. I was gonna take the blue clutch but I like a splash of color, so I went with coral instead. All my accessories today were from Stella & Dot. I better get #winetime under way. My brother has arrived...

  • Wanna know what I ate? Read on. I'll list it all because I didn't eat enough today and I can remember everything easily.

  • Banana - pre run
  • 3 slices of bacon & 4 eggs - post run
  • Orange 
  • Almond butter (with a spoon)
  • Red wine
  • Pork souvlaki
  • Green beans w onion and mushroom
  • Village salad

  • I failed miserably at eating every 3 hours. I've got it so ingrained in my head to eat only when hungry that I forget to eat. I never imagined having this problem. Ever. I used to eat all day long. Tomorrow I really need to get some healthy snacks. I talked about getting them last week and I'm nothing but a procrastinator. I need to step my nutrition game if I'm going to drop this extra fat. You need to eat quality food frequently to lose. That's a fact.
  • My BBQ with my brother and father was a hit. They love eating all the veggies. My dad just wishes I'd eat a potato. Although I don't have them myself, I serve potatoes for my dad and brother whenever they're over. Potatoes done anyway is my dad's favorite food. That and ice cream. I got a small lemon meringue cake for dessert. Apparently it was good. Lemon is my favorite flavor...

Sunday, August 2, 2015

The post about holiday traffic, a day on the farm and calorie counting...

  • It's #coffeetime and why do I feel so guilty taking a rest day? I did want to get something in this morning but alas, I slept in. I've gotta leave the house early because we're driving to the Peterborough area for my cousin's son's birthday party and I've got to get my dad first. A day of family fun on the farm. Not sure what we're eating but my cousin's wife is so mindful of my diet. I know they'll have lots of meat and veggies. I love that no matter where I go to visit, whether family or friends, I'm always supported for my healthy eating choices...

  • My current POV. Driving eastbound through Durham on the 401 during the holiday weekend is no joke yo! We've been in traffic for over an hour. Funny story, my oldest girlfriend Nokomis pulled up beside us. She's on her way to her summer home near the Ottawa Valley. I only got to yell at her for seconds before we moved on. Julien and I are running out of amusements. The most fun we're having right now is picking sunflower seeds off of the backs of my thighs. We spilled them and I've sat on them...

  • Who wears light colors to a farm? I do:-) It's a beautiful day here in Millbrook and the temps are much cooler. I'm wearing my $30 outfit here. The tank and sandals were $3 each from Old Navy. The shirt ($8) from Old Navy. The shorts ($11) and sunglasses ($5) are from Reitman's. Lots of fun spending time with my cousin and his family. My dad is wandering around and eating wild raspberries. I'm taking him home with me tonight:-)

  • A day at the farm and lots of fun was had. Tons of beautiful scenery and bugs. Picked some wild raspberries, launched a rocket, and did some exploring. Saw the feral barn kittens and I think I'm gonna score me a bunch of fresh garden veggies before I leave. My dad is loving the time away from the city. Can't beat the quiet and the fresh air up here...

  • My day of food. This is pretty much what I ate at the farm. Clockwise from top left:

  • Kale and cabbage salad
  • Fresh raspberries
  • White #winetime 
  • Cafe au lait 
  • Bean salad
  • Raw veggies
  • Chicken kebabs

  • I'm pretty stuffed and my tummy feels bloated. It's the beans. I agreed to start eating legumes again (at the advice of the nutritionist) and I'm not used to it. That bean salad had kidney beans and chickpeas in it. I will solider through though.
  • I had an interesting conversation with a woman at the farm who lost 50 pounds calorie counting. She insisted that was the only way to lose and maintain weight loss. Although I don't dispute that worked for her, I told her there were other effective methods to weight loss. She shook her head and said it's science. Calories in, calories out. I didn't say anything and my cousin's wife said, "how much did you lose Leigh Anne"? When I said 140 pounds from my highest recorded weight the woman said, "so you're an excellent calorie counter"! I just smiled at her and said that I've not counted calories in many, many years. 
  • Calorie counting works for her because she can eat in moderation. As a binge eater I had to permanently cut entire foods and food groups out of my diet. I commend her for her success and ability to limit herself, but I cannot have the same food freedom as she has. And that doesn't bother me. The one thing that made this weight loss experience successful (when I failed so many previous times) is accepting my issues and limitations with food. That and thinking of food as fuel instead of a source of entertainment or comfort. Letting go of my former binge foods was so incredibly freeing and it made me feel powerful and strong. And I always ate till I was full. Another perk of low carb, high protein, for me...

Saturday, August 1, 2015

The post about #flexFriday, #facetoface Friday and guacamole galore...

  • And yesterday on Instagram...
  • It's #coffeetime, I am Canadian edition. I was up just after 6am with Baby, then Julien joined us. Thank goodness the humidity lifted last night. It's a cool morning which is nice for a change. I'm running 7k in a bit. Today is payday which means I have to pay all the bills and watch my bank account dwindle to nothing in a matter of seconds. Not sure what we're doing later. Maybe biking or going for a walk on the beach. I have to get a gift for Julien's young cousin sometime today. We're headed to my cousin's farm in Millbrook for a birthday party tomorrow. I'm bringing my dad. It will be a fun day for Julien. He loves it up there...

  • No matter what kind of workout I do, I need to be dripping in sweat by the end. That way I know I worked hard. Whether I'm running, biking or strength training. I'm sweating, my heart rate is elevated and I'm feeling the discomfort (at least part of the time). If it's easy, it's not work. When I'm with my trainer, if we're doing 10 reps of something, he tells me that by the 8th rep I should feel like I'm done. That's how we gage that I'm working hard enough and right where I need to be. When I'm running or biking, if it gets easy and my breathing evens out, I know I need to push myself harder. I'm a hot mess when I'm working out and that's the way it should be. If I'm not a sweating, heavy breathing ball of grossness when I'm done, I'm not getting everything I can out of my workout. After all, my muscles aren't going to magically appear. I need to work for them...

  • It's #flexfriday and all I got are my gams. This is my very first flex Friday post ever. My son Julien took this pic and would like you all to know that he thought up the already in existence hashtag Muscle Monday. Very proud of his discovery:-) My legs are a part of my body I'm proud of. Running has formed them and strength training is going to make them super toned and strong. I'm forming a nice inner thigh muscle that I noticed is getting bigger. The thigh gap is closing in. Thigh gaps are overrated anyway. I'd choose muscle over a gap any day. I tried to flex my abs, but they still don't exist, and I just looked like I needed to pass wind. Get your flex on...

  • Holy hashtags, but it's been a while since I've done a #facetoface Friday. Don't even about my former brows. Let's just leave that one alone. These pics are separated by 4 summers. I looked at so many different pics from my personal Facebook profile and I wasn't smiling in any of them. Although Julien has always been my happiness, I felt trapped in my 300 pound body. 
  • During the summer of 2011 everything fell into place for me. I began having vivid dreams of being a "normal" sized person. My dreams were so life like I'd wake up convinced that I'd lost all the weight only to find I was still a prisoner in my own body. I spoke about this in my blog during the summer of 2012. I began to crave the feeling I was dreaming about. Then the incident at Busch Gardens happened where I couldn't fit on a ride with Julien and I knew that I had to change my life. 
  • At this time 4 years ago I was going through great reflection in my life. I'd just gotten back from Williamsburg, Virginia and I'd made a doctor's appointment to get serious about my health. Everything happens for a reason and as strange as it may sound, being turned away from a ride for being too big is the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me realize that I had to make changes if I was going to experience Julien's childhood instead of just watching him grow up. I consider myself blessed...

  • When life gives you over ripe avocados, you have to make guacamole. Ugh! My avocados were going bad so that's pretty much all I ate today. Wanna know everything that went into my mouth? Here you go:
  • 2x coffee w cream
  • Banana - pre run
  • 4 hardboiled eggs & orange -post run
  • Almonds and sunflower seeds
  • Salmon, tomato, & avocado salad
  • Guacamole and baby carrots 
  • Chicken fajita salad w guacamole
  • Red wine
  • Tons and tons of aqua
  • I think I ate enough. I had more avocado than I've ever eaten in my life in one day. I hate wasting food and guacamole doesn't keep well. But I ate 6x today which is what the nutritionist recommended. 
  • I'm off to answer my blog email and Facebook messages. I answer all my reader mail once a week. I'm so touched that anyone would take the time to write to me. It's so humbling and I answer each and every one of them...

Friday, July 31, 2015

The post about deep thoughts with my boy and how I shop "healthy" on a budget...

  • Meanwhile, yesterday on Instagram...
  • It's just after 5:30am and I'm headed out the door. No coffee. Just this sorry banana. I just wanna stay in bed. I'm exhausted. This should be an interesting workout. My only saving grace is that it's not leg day. My legs hurt. Walking all day through Darien Lake yesterday was so tiring. Especially in that heat. So even though I'm toast, I'm gonna give it my all. But I'm def going back to bed when I get home after I've had my coffee...

  • Finally it's #coffeetime. I'm bagged but I have reason to smile. Who did 40 shitty military style pushups and 40 assisted pushups? This girl did. Feeling a touch hardcore right now. And speaking of core, working it today was slightly easier. That only means that Tony's going to make it harder for next time. He's prepping me to do TRX (suspension training) which is going to start soon and is freaking hard. 
  • Today I am doing as little as possible. Getting my house in order, picking up some provisions and reading my trashy summer novel. I had a conversation with Julien about getting my arm lift done. He had so many questions then asked why he doesn't remember me when I was morbidly obese. There's such a disconnect there for him. He was almost 4 when I began my lifestyle change. After I had lost 100 pounds we were looking at pictures from our trip to Busch Gardens the previous summer and he asked me who the lady was that was with him. When I told him it was me he looked confused and said I was joking. He understands more about my circumstances now. 
  • Yesterday while we were waiting to go on a coaster at Darien Lake he said, "I love that you go on all these rides with me mommy". And I asked if he remembers why I can go on them. He smiled and said, "because you're healthy and you can fit now". That is why I dragged my ass out of bed this morning at 5am to meet with my trainer while I'm on vacation. Someone counts on me. And I won't let him down...

L: Spring 2008
R: Summer 2015

  • #ThrowbackThursday Me and my baby then and now. OMG I just want to eat those cheeks. Then and now!!! How beautiful is my boy? We were just looking at the photo on the left and he asked me why I was so big then. He's never asked that before and there's more to that answer than I just ate too much. He knows I changed my lifestyle for him. Well, for both of us. And while I was reflecting before answering he said, "I know mommy. It's because you were sad before I was born". There's definitely some truth in that answer. I didn't feel I had purpose until he was born. I never seriously thought of getting healthy before him. If I had, I wouldn't have spent my life yo-yo dieting. 
  • The fun I have keeping up with him now is priceless. If I weighed 300 pounds at this time in his life I'd not be bike riding with him, playing on swings, going to amusement parks or waterparks, going zip lining and I wouldn't be role modeling a healthy lifestyle. He knows activity is important and he knows what healthy snacks are. Although I think he was delusional due to exhaustion, last night on the way home from Darien Lake, he told me he was going to eat everything I ate today. So far we're 0 for 2 but the sentiment was nice. I can't really expect a 7 year old to eat hard boiled eggs and canned salmon can I?

  • Although extremely flattered, there is no way I look 25 or younger. I got ID'd at the LCBO. Whaaaaaat? If I'm wearing sunglasses maybe. But that's still a HUGE stretch. The young man who carded me was barely 25. My eyes are old. The eye cream I bought and had to remortgage my house to afford is not really doing the trick. So back to square one. 
  • Anywho, it's #winetime. After having a lengthy conversation with my trainer this morning about alcohol and training, he told me he cut it out for months and it made no difference. So I'm drinking in moderation without guilt. 
  • After this morning's session, I'm feeling a touch sore in the abdominals and my right rotator cuff seems a bit effed up. I don't believe there's ever been a time in my life when I've been pain free. Either I hurt from being morbidly obese or I hurt from running and strength training. True story. But to be clear, I prefer this hurt to the latter. And Tony advised me to forget the kettle bell and get some dumb bells. I'm using 12.5 - 20 pounders right now. So that will be my next mission. Cheers...

  • I've enough produce in my house to choke a rabbit. Tomorrow chicken breast goes on sale. I'm pumped! Tonight's dinner was peppers and onions with BBQ'd hot Italian sausages and acorn squash. The squash was drizzled with evoo (extra virgin olive oil) and baked. The peppers were sauteed with evoo and some sea salt and pepper. 
  • I am not a lifestyle pusher. You will never hear me say that high protein, grain and refined sugar free is the way to effectively lose weight. It was the right choice for me but everyone is different. I know people who have successfully lost a lot of weight having WL surgery, following weight watchers, following meal supplement programs, counting calories, eating low carb, eating vegetarian, only eating foods that are purple. You get my point. I lost all my weight eating low carb, high protein. 
  • Weight loss is hard, maintenance is harder. If you don't have a sustainable plan for maintenance, no weight loss plan will work long term. That's why there's such a low long term success rate for weight loss. Something I hear a lot is that eating healthy is expensive. I'm not going to negate that but there is a solution. Price matching. If you're lucky enough to have businesses that do price matching in your area than take advantage! 
  • I have an app called Flipp on my phone. It's a free download for any smart phone. All I do is put my postal (zip) code in and the app pulls up all the grocery fliers in my area. I simply make a shopping list on the app and it highlights all the deals. I clip the lowest price ad and show it to the cashier at check out. That is the price I pay. Today green peppers were $2.47/lb at Walmart. I paid $.99/lb. I do price matching at Walmart and No Frills. It's so easy and a huge money saver. 
  • Protein is expensive. Produce is expensive. Saving money is awesome. Eating healthy on a budget is possible. It's a bit of work just like everything else that has to do with maintenance and life in general. But it's worth it. I can use the money I save to shop at Value Village for some (normally) expensive labels that I'd never be able to afford full price for. I'm a very frugal girl...